


The Sad Sads

by OhSnap9292



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Angst, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Self Confidence Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9262949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhSnap9292/pseuds/OhSnap9292
Summary: “I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.” - Charles Bukowski





	

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, all mistakes are my own. First fic in the fandom, I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

Robbie laid awake, curled on his side facing away from his bed partner, staring at the wall of the airship with glassy and unfocused eyes. His internal clock had long since become unreliable due to years of insomnia but he knew he had been in this position for several hours at least. 8:08 had long since past, so Sportacus was completely knocked out and therefore none the wiser to Robbie’s predicament. _Not that he would have known,_ Robbie thought bitterly. _That stupid crystal never works for me._ The kids could do something as insignificant as lose a soccer ball, or spill some milk, or stub a dumb little toe and the thing would go wild, sending Sportacus running to the scene. Robbie swore the damn thing waited for him to be seconds from death before it even considered going off for him.

 

Currently, he was experiencing a level of misery that went beyond the realm of tears. Today had been completely awful, for no other reason than it just was. He had days like this sometimes, where he woke up sad and went to bed sad with little reprieve throughout the course of the day. It wasn’t a normal sad, either. It was Sad™ sad. The kind of sad that sucked the life force right out of you, gutted you, made you feel hollow and empty. The Sad Days™ had certainly lessened recently, which he knows he can attribute the the goofy blue elf that wormed his way into his heart, but that didn’t mean they stopped all together. Usually, he avoided Sportacus on these days by pretending to be busy and holing up in his lair. He didn’t want to deal with the inquisitive looks he knew he would get and he definitely didn’t want to explain himself when the elf inevitably started asking questions. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure if he _could_ explain. The sadness felt so vague, even to him.

 

The villain knew he should have avoided everyone today, but for some reason he just couldn’t bring himself to. He was craving human contact, and while he usually ignored the need, he just couldn’t shake it this time. He knew it wouldn’t fix his problems, but it would certainly bring some relief. Still, he didn’t want to be a burden to Sportacus lest he risk the elf figuring out just how truly troubled his mind was and then get dumped on the spot, so he waited by the mailbox until 8:00pm on the dot and then sent a hastily scrawled “Can I stay over? -R” up to the airship. He knew it was close enough to Sportacus’ bed time that he wouldn’t have the time to bother Robbie about where he’d been all day or why the frown lines on his face had deepened immensely since the last time he had seen him.

 

It didn’t take long for the platform of the airship to lower in response and so Robbie hopped on and entered the sparse single room. Sportacus took one look at Robbie’s face and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He opened his mouth to ask Robbie if everything was alright, but was cut off by the ship’s computer reminding him of the time. _Saved by the bell._ They climbed into bed together and Sportacus fell asleep almost instantaneously. That left Robbie all alone to deal with the whirl of self-deprecating thoughts cycling through his head, one after another, round and round and round again.

 

_—not good enough never have been, they don’t like you they only pretend, they only ask you to hang out because Sportacus probably makes them, Sportacus probably doesn’t even like you he just feels sorry for you, maybe the crystal targeted you and your Sadness_ ™ _and this is just Sportacus’ weird way of “helping” and he never loved you at all, never even_ liked _you, maybe it’s all some sick joke, maybe—_

 

Robbie tensed suddenly, his thoughts halted by a warm hand sneaking up the back of his shirt all big and dry and _soothing_. It made a few comforting passes up and down the knobs of his spine before resting solidly on his hip.

 

“It’s okay, Robbie.” Sportacus said, voice thick with sleep.

 

“What are you talking about, Sportakook?” He responded stiffly, trying not to let his voice reveal the toll his thoughts were having on his emotions. It was a dead giveaway though, and he knew it too. He felt like there was a lump in his throat that he couldn’t swallow down, as if he’d eaten too many toffees too quickly and they were sitting in all their sticky, sugary glory just behind his adams apple.

 

There was a soft squeeze to his hip. “I don’t need a crystal to sense when something is bothering you.”

 

Robbie wanted to argue the point, maybe to save a little face or maybe just for the sake of arguing. He could’t win though, and he didn’t really want to. Mostly he just felt bad for waking the guy up, especially when he relied on such a ridiculously efficient sleep schedule. The quicker he could play this off as no big deal, the quicker Sportacus could go back to sleep and Robbie could get back to being miserable.

 

“I don’t want to- I can’t- Just-“ It wasn’t coming out right, he couldn’t find the right words. He let out a shaky breath and tried again. “Sportacus, I-“

 

“I know. Shh, I know.” The hand at his hip squeezed again, and then looped around the taller man’s middle, pulling him tight to his chest. Sportacus’ lips were at his ear now, whispering reassuringly. “You don’t have to right now. Or ever, if you don’t want. If you do though, I’m here and I’ll listen to whatever you want to say.”

 

Robbie’s expression twisted, lips curling in disgust. He struggled to pull away from the strong arm that was currently anchoring him in place. “Why?” he growled. “Because you’re a big sporty superhero and it’s your job? I don’t need anyones help.” Robbie was almost snarling at this point. He hadn’t wanted to go off on the man, he knew what he was saying was completely untrue, but the bad thoughts from earlier seemed to have infected the part of his brain that controlled his speech center.

 

Sportacus was having none of it. He tightened his grip on the squirming villain and pressed himself fully against him, forcing as much body contact as possible. “No,” he said firmly. “I do it because you are my boyfriend and I care about you.”

 

Robbie stopped struggling almost as suddenly as he had begun. Sportacus’ beautifully accented voice sounded so genuine, like he had really truly meant what he’d said, that all the fight was drained from him. He felt exhausted and even worse than he had when he was alone in his lair because now he was forcing his nonexistent problems on the only person who regularly made him feel like a real person. They laid there in silence for awhile, and Robbie thought maybe Sportacus had gone back to sleep, (wouldn’t have blamed him either), but then every so often he felt a light squeeze around his belly or lips brushing against his ear and he knew the man was waiting for him to say something.

 

Robbie took a deep, calming breath to collect his thoughts. “I can’t explain it. I just… I don’t know how.”

 

Though Sportacus had once told the children he was not afraid of anything, Robbie knew it was a lie. His only true fear was being unable to help someone, and the villain knew that Sportacus was probably starting to get a bit nervous about the current situation.

 

“You don’t have to explain right now. Just tell me what I can do. I’m sorry to say I spend most of my time helping out children and their biggest problem is getting stuck in trees, so I’ve never faced a problem like this, and I don’t know what you need from me. How can I help you Robbie?” Robbie couldn’t be sure, but he thought he detected a hint of desperation in the elf’s voice.

 

No one had ever wanted to help Robbie when he was like this though, so he was as in the dark as Sportacus was about how to help himself.“Just… Just be here, I guess.”

 

“Okay,” he said, resolve filling his voice. “I won’t go to sleep until you do.”

 

“But-“

 

“Shh, you said you wanted me here and I want to be here with you.”

 

Robbie suddenly felt more exhausted than he ever had in his entire life, and he’d stayed awake for an entire week straight before. Slowly he closed his eyes and relaxed into the broad chest behind him. It was silent for a long while and his body felt heavy as he began to drift off.

 

“And Robbie?” The voice sounded far, far away at this point.

 

“Hm?” Sleepy, non-commital.

 

“Please never be afraid to wake me if you feel this way again. I’ll always be here for you Robbie.”

 

The last thing he remembered before sleep finally took him was intertwining his fingers with the ones around his waist.

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, Sportacus is perceptive af and while I enjoy naive!sportacus fic I think he knows what’s up. This is pulled mostly by real life events between me and my own boyfriend. I also saw a pic on tumblr (which I cannot find again for the life of me) of Sportacus asleep and none the wiser while holding a rather miserable looking Robbie which crawled it’s way into my brain and wouldn’t go away. I know Lazy Town isn’t supposed to be That Deep™ but I project my own depression and anxiety disorder on Robbie so sorry bout that.
> 
> Edit: User nocturnalSpectrum found the picture I was talking about! Check it out [here](http://skyshimmer.tumblr.com/post/154757504019/there-was-a-trick-to-it-to-feeling-horrible)


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